Teammates

With winter games leaving time on the Corinthians hands, we asked a number of players to answer the following questions...
BEST TRAINER?
QUICKEST PLAYER?
SLOWEST PLAYER?
MOST SKILFUL?
THE JOKER?
BIGGEST MOANER?
HARD MAN?
MOST INTELLIGENT?
WORST TASTE IN MUSIC?
LEAST INTELLIGENT?
BEST DANCER?
WORST DANCER?
WHO'S THE LONGEST IN THE SHOWER?


The first player to be questioned was Tom Eckersley
(Whilst these may be the views of Tom, Euxton Corinthians would like it known that they may not share the same thoughts)

Best Trainer: Joe Ingham tries really really hard in training for a paedophile

Quickest Player: Darren Hill... very fast, always the first person to the Nile

Slowest Player: Henry Loram I′ve had quicker shits than this stupid ginger ....

Most Skilful: between Greg Anderton′s stepovers and Dave Moore′s outside of the boot curlers

The Joker: HOGG IS A JOKE

Biggest Moaner: HOGG IS A MOANER

Hard Man: as the only person to get sent off for getting beat up by the hulk it has got to be me.

Most intelligent: defiantly not paedo teacher Hogg, its has to be James “the quiz machine” O′Loughlin

Worst taste in music: MC fake tan corndog (chats up managers X) Steven Cornall!

Least intelligent: Henry the education quitting paper making ....

Best Dancer: Churio with his Muslim cow dance

Worst Dancer: HOGG

Longest in the shower: Henry and Hogg have a lot of length like a strawberry lace but Pin is hung like a can of Pepsi


Managers view; Danial Hogg

Best Trainer: Well Sean Parkin never misses a session but he is impossible to please, Greg Anderton is another who always attends but he is one greedy lanky lad in training. Aside from them I would have to say Pete Fletcher as he always gives it his all and applies himself well.

Quickest Player: I have to take this one based on speed but Jazz is probably ten steps ahead inside his head.

Slowest Player: Fleck is not slow he just runs at the same pace, Latham was not the quickest and id imagine it would be between those two and new recruit Andy Turner. Slowest brain has to be either me or Ecky ... farm boy takes a while to understand things

Most Skilful: Quick feet Diego Parkin Maradona or Denilson Crouch.

The Joker: Henry is outrageous in games, “Im like a white Linford Christie” only one of his, you could pretty much write a book of quotes

Biggest Moaner: Easy if its training then its Parkin and Ecky, but at least Parkin does it, Ecky simply does not.. pre season.. what is that?! During matches I know I take that title, although Henry is not far off whilst he is catching me up with the bookings too.

Hard Man:Farm lads Ingham and Eckersley are not afraid of a tackle but our new Chinese signing Rickwaa Woodwaa loves a tackle too and has put in a couple of nice ones to date, perhaps Gallagher′s recent war wound will make him worthy of a mention.

Most Intelligent: General knowledge has to be Jazz, out of the whole squad then its probably Dr. Gabriel Wallis but seeing as he is never around then ill say Peter Fletcher who seems to know everything!

Least Intelligent: Cornal is not yet intelligent enough to know how to dress himself as the boots prove aside from that then id say Henry needs to learn about finance.

Best Dancer: Robot Loram has some moves along with his hobbit sidekick Cosgrove

Worst Dancer: I have to argue back to Eckys opinion that its me, I can not remember Eckersley knowing what is meant by the term dancing let alone being able to do anything other than country and western barn dancing. Other than that Cornal has the crown of worst dancer for me

Longest in the shower: We don′t use our shower cubicle.....

Teammates: Greg Anderton

Best Trainer: For shear enthusiasm it has to be Hogg

Quickest Player: For top speed it has to be Henners “The White Linford Christie” Loram, but for acceleration its without a doubt Daz Hill...

Slowest Player: Andy Turner is quick but “steady” Chorio has it for me

Most Skilful: My worst nightmare is having to defend against myself...I wouldn′t stand a chance!

The Joker: Henry′s more like the Riddler so its Gallagher, funny looking lad he is.

Biggest Moaner: HOGG

Hard Man:Were all hard as #$*#

Most Intelligent: Jazz is a quiz machine veteran but Churio seems to know everything about anything

Least Intelligent:One of the farm boys, it′s too close to call

Best Dancer: Parkin or Jazz, head bobbing is the only description I can manage

Worst Dancer: He′s a new lad but everyone will soon catch a glimpse of Dave Bertram skipping around the dance floor

Longest in the shower: For fear of Legionella we don′t shower after the game, but if the rumors are to be believed then Shep takes this one

Teammates: Steven Cornall

Best Trainer: James O′Loughlin, an ever present, hardworking player on the astro

Quickest Player: Off the mark it would have to be Darren Hill, you′d have never thought it but he′s got some speed, maybe the truck he′s pulling helps....

Slowest Player: Sean Parkin, ive never seen him at more than a stroll around the centre circle

Most Skilful: again, James O′Loughlin takes this one, you just can′t stop him doing step overs

The Joker: I′d have to say Hogg for this one, 10 laps and a 20 minutes run followed by doggies before we start training.... ha ha ha

Biggest Moaner: one name springs to mind.... Andy Turner

Hard Man:Henry, he′s cut like an action figure

Most Intelligent: For his strong addiction to football manager and the itbox, in a sports pub quiz James O′Loughlin has to take this one

Least Intelligent: those who can′t, teach

Best Dancer: Parkin has to take this one, raising his arms in the air and shouting whilst spilling his drinks over every one, followed by the head bob, you can′t teach that

Worst Dancer: Crouch thinks he can throw a few shapes.... sadly he is mistaken

Longest in the shower: in true stereotypical form, the Chinese are notoriously well endowed, so Rick Wood, we all envy you here.....

New Teammates: Sean Parkin

Worst dress sense: I thought Steven Cornall might feature in this question and answer session, and I had an inkling it wasn′t going to be for best goal of the season. Shirts have buttons to be fastened to the top for a reason, and razorblades should be used no–where below the chin, and above the waist. And don′t get me started on those BASTARD Boots...

Best dressed: James O′loughlin probably was in with a shout until he bought a Bukta track top, as was Danial Hogg until he bought that outrageous diamonte Rolling Stones T-shirt (and doesn′t even own a rolling stones album), so the award probably has to go to Pete Fletcher purely for a consistent top choice in sneakers.

Best goal: The tale of 2 over–head kicks, the one against us in the cup from the edge of the area, and the one to claw us into the lead against Kenlis...

Softest player: Andrew Latham subbing himself last season after getting the ball in his nuts... Louis from “Pineapple Studios” springs to mind.

Best nickname Henry Loram – La Roux – unbelievable shout